Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Paradox of Surrender

I have personally experienced the blessing of surrendering when I finally came to realisations that I it was imperative to "let go" of a way of life or a behavior to be able to experience something better from what seemed was a futile state of being.  Surrendering the circumstances entirely has always worked for me bringing with it peace, blessings upon blessings along with new opportunities I had never anticipated before.

Surrender was not a new concept or experience for me as I had experienced it many times and understood it to be a personal choice for change.  The beauty of surrender is just that as it is a personal choice and reckoning with oneself upon whether one one wants to carry on to the bitter end or to experience something better.

Surrendering of this kind means having faith and trust in the unknown as well as, for me, a higher power i.e. God.  Relinquishing everything and then turning my attention to receiving, based on faith, that which is unknown but knowing whatever is to come will be vastly better than that which is being relinquised.
The paradox of this "shift" is one must let go in order to gain something at a much different level.  I have learned and experienced that it is through the act of giving up something or everything in order to receive.  This entire process is in and of itself a paradox and can be confusing.

Although I have had this experience and understood it experientially it was not until I had been faced with situations I had not experienced in my life that I began to struggle with surrender as I had encountered a part of myself which had been hidden (to me) until this period in my life.  It took three years of soul searching and the discovery of my inner child to be able to see just exactly what needed to be released.  This was shattering to me and I sincerely thought I would not surely make it through this experience.

I have made it through this experience relatively unscathed and definately at a new level.  This experience certainly was not for the faint of heart as I had lost a husband, my business and a few family members who passed on.  I find myself starting my life completely over again as I would have when I was 18 years old.  Everything is new to me again and I feel as if I have many opportunities that lay ahead.  I am eternally grateful for this experience even though I continue to struggle with this foreign "place" where I have never visited but now live.

I have heard it said "surrender to win" which I can attest but prefer to say "surrender to love".  ~

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